I haven't wrote in a while because I have been spending so much time bottling up my thoughts that are really too private to share. The thoughts I do type are usually in a text/gchat to one of the few people that won't judge me. Since I don't have access to my tiny qwerty keyboard, I have been forced to deal with all the things on my mind without adding any humor to it.
Everyone needs someone to vent to. I'm glad I have that. Most people choose not to listen because they only care about what it going on with themselves. I am blessed to have one person in my life will always listen to my thoughts. She never minimizes my feelings. I didn't realize how much I have come to depend on that until here recently.
I guess that my mood is alright. I don't feel depressed or anything like that, but I do feel dissatisfied with some things. I am at a point in my life where I'm tired of all bull****, and I do not feel like dealing with it from anyone. I'm a do-er. If there is a problem, I DO something about it if it means something to me. I'm tired of doing that. I realized that this time away from my everyday schedule is a welcomed break from me. I need a break from everything right now. The song that comes to mind is Erykah Badu's "Window Seat." I just needed to be away.
I'm trying to figure out what lesson I'm supposed to be learning from the things that are going on around me. What am I doing wrong? Why do I sometimes feel like I'm trying my best, but people just want more and more from me? Why do I feel like I'm always expected to change problems that are not mine alone? Why do people I thought were friends try to run all over me? Why do situations that I thought were cool seem to turn upside down so quick? I just don't feel certain of anything or anybody these days.
Most days I feel like I have nothing to complain about. I have a lot of things that most people want I guess, but then I look around and I think a lot of the things are just not real.
I am getting to the point now where I'm no longer willing to take credit for some things. I'm not perfect. I'm not saying that I don't cause problems, but I do know what kind of person I am. I know that for the people that I consider true in my life, I will do my best for. I'm tired of people giving me 70 percent and wanting my full 100. I am tired of people wanting me to do right by them, but they half do for me. I'm evaluating a lot of things and people in my life right now, and I am no longer willing to be on anyone's back burner while they remain a priority in my life. This post excludes nobody.
I am not going out of my way for anyone who doesn't deserve it anymore no matter what role they think they play in my life.
Over and out!
~Yep, this is my last post until I feel like I can write something inspiring.....or when I can get back to texting/gchatting my frustrations.
Everyone needs someone to vent to. I'm glad I have that. Most people choose not to listen because they only care about what it going on with themselves. I am blessed to have one person in my life will always listen to my thoughts. She never minimizes my feelings. I didn't realize how much I have come to depend on that until here recently.
I guess that my mood is alright. I don't feel depressed or anything like that, but I do feel dissatisfied with some things. I am at a point in my life where I'm tired of all bull****, and I do not feel like dealing with it from anyone. I'm a do-er. If there is a problem, I DO something about it if it means something to me. I'm tired of doing that. I realized that this time away from my everyday schedule is a welcomed break from me. I need a break from everything right now. The song that comes to mind is Erykah Badu's "Window Seat." I just needed to be away.
I'm trying to figure out what lesson I'm supposed to be learning from the things that are going on around me. What am I doing wrong? Why do I sometimes feel like I'm trying my best, but people just want more and more from me? Why do I feel like I'm always expected to change problems that are not mine alone? Why do people I thought were friends try to run all over me? Why do situations that I thought were cool seem to turn upside down so quick? I just don't feel certain of anything or anybody these days.
Most days I feel like I have nothing to complain about. I have a lot of things that most people want I guess, but then I look around and I think a lot of the things are just not real.
I am getting to the point now where I'm no longer willing to take credit for some things. I'm not perfect. I'm not saying that I don't cause problems, but I do know what kind of person I am. I know that for the people that I consider true in my life, I will do my best for. I'm tired of people giving me 70 percent and wanting my full 100. I am tired of people wanting me to do right by them, but they half do for me. I'm evaluating a lot of things and people in my life right now, and I am no longer willing to be on anyone's back burner while they remain a priority in my life. This post excludes nobody.
I am not going out of my way for anyone who doesn't deserve it anymore no matter what role they think they play in my life.
Over and out!
~Yep, this is my last post until I feel like I can write something inspiring.....or when I can get back to texting/gchatting my frustrations.
