2010~Blessed

At the end of each year, I kind of like to go over in my mind all the things that I have to be thankful for over the past year. I usually do this while I'm cooking my New Years meal...but later for that. I'm playing in these Afghani rocks. Anyway, the list goes like this:

~God allowed us to purchase a house! That is probably one of the most exciting things that happened this year. To see the look on our parents faces was priceless. I remember the first time we walked in the house, we just knew that it was our house. I am sooo thankful to be a home owner at 27. God has truly blessed us.


~My degree...I can almost FINALLY take a breath. I am now in the home stretch of getting this paper that proves that I'm educated. lol

~My Daddy is a Deacon! My proudest moment in 2010 is when I was sitting at work here in Afghaniland wishing I was at my father's induction ceremony. It was bittersweet. I was extremely happy that day in September, but I was also very sad. I could not even think about the ceremony without crying because I felt like this is one moment that I should've been there for my Dad. Duty calls...what can you do? I did what I could and sent a letter that was read during his ceremony. In the military, sometimes we miss important moments that we can never get back. This is one...BUT the most important thing to me is seeing all that God has done in my father's life over the last ten years. I distinctly remember praying that my dad would just start coming to church on a regular basis when I was 18 years old. That was in 2001. All I wanted was him to sit under the Word. God exceeded my expectations. My dad has always given me wisdom, but now he gives me godly wisdom. He stands at the head of his household as the spiritual leader in his house. Thank you, Jesus! Prayer works. I wish I could really explain how much all of this means to me, but I can't. All I can say is I am so thankful, and I am the proudest girl in the world in who my Poppers is becoming. I can see God working in him, and it's a beautiful thing.


~My cousin is getting married! I am so happy that he found his "good thing." My little, big cousin is like a brother to me. I am probably one of his biggest fans. I am proud of him, and I am proud of the things that he's accomplished in his 26 years. Now it's a new step in his life. It's like he's not my little cousin anymore. He's a grown man! I couldn't be happier for him. Lord willing, I'm going to be sitting there watching him getting married with my millions of tissues that I WILL need. lol...I couldn't even tell him congratulations without crying, so I know I'll be a mess at the wedding.


~I am especially happy about the friends God has placed in my life. I feel like I have a few friendships that have grown so much this year that I really cherish. When I first got to North Carolina in '08, I prayed that God would send me a good friend(s) near me. All my good friends are far away. Well you know what God did? He didn't put my friends where I wanted them in location, he put my friends where I needed them....spiritually. I have realized it, and I'm am very ok with that. I have some GREAT friends, and they're only a phone call away. I had prayed to God for good Christian friends in my area. Well, He put a spotlight on some people that were already in my life. I just needed to build on the relationships. I didn't NEED anyone new. I had all that I needed around me even though they weren't right next door. I already had friends in my life who are equipped with the Word and that give godly counsel. I already had people who truly cared about me and what the Word says about our lives. Once I started making myself more available and opening up to people more, I realized I have the friends I'm supposed to have....and I LOVE  them! I thank God for the people who are in my life. I'm taking all of you that I love in 2011, too!

~I thank God for peace. I'm on my third deployment. We all talk about getting our tax free money, but everything ain't funny out here. There are sounds and situations that you never forget. I thank God that through it all, he ALWAYS gives me peace in the midst of the situations.

~One day something clicked in me, and I realized that I needed to know the Lord more. I am MOST thankful right now that God makes Himself available to me. I can't tell you how much I've learned and grown over the last few months. I've been convicted of things I never even thought of, and I feel a hunger for His Word more than before. This is the first deployment that I have had so many Christians in my work environment. I don't feel like that's a coincidence. I needed this. I am so thankful!

~I have a job in this economy!

~I am thankful for my husband~for so many reasons! I'd rather tell him personally.

~I have a great family who has encouraged me when I needed it most. I thank God for the family that He gave me.

~I could go on for days about the things that I'm thankful for over the past year, but I won't. These are just a few things. I can look back at this list and know that I have nothing to complain about. I have everything I need and more. I have so much to be thankful for! The material things are wonderful, but God has blessed me spiritually this year. I am a happy woman!

Hot!

This Christian Louboutin Biana Tie-Die Platform Pump is in a league it's own. Made my sleepy eyes open wide and my mouth water as soon I set my eyes on them.

This Bitter Earth

I finished This Bitter Earth by Bernice McFadden a few weeks back. It is the sequel to Sugar, and I must admit it was quite interesting. Bernice McFadden tells Sugar's story 10 years later after the ending of the book Sugar. I was happy to see that Sugar had matured, and her life was starting to go in a positive direction. The sequel actually provided a lot of background to some of the characters in the first book. I won't say that this is one of the better books I have read, but I do think a person who has read Sugar should definitely go ahead and pick up this sequel. I found it to be a lot more interesting than it's prequel. I guess that's all I really have to say about it. 

Currently, I am reading The Bait of Satan by John Bevere. This book is incredible so  far. I love it. I feel like there are so many things is this book that applies to me, and I really need to get better. I am not even finished with it, but I definitely recommend The Bait of Satan to any believer of Christ who interested in strengthening their spiritual walk.  

If at first you don't succeed, dust yourself off and try again.

 ~I don’t really understand myself, for I want to do what is right, but I don’t do it. Instead, I do what I hate.~ Romans 7:15 NLV

Actually Romans 7:14-25 is what I'm really thinking of. I feel like it applies.

So my previous blog...I was already put to the test of that blog a few hours ago. I came home feeling good because I felt like I had one of those moments where the Word kind of just lifts off the page. You know one of those moments, where a certain passage is illuminated? It was one of those times where I definitely felt like God was saying "Child, get this. Get what I'm saying to you." You know what I did? I got it. I told myself I would apply it, and then 3 hours later I showed my fleshy behind. Epic fail.

So now I'm up. Should be sleeping, but I feel like I'm supposed to be up thinking about it.....not to be confused with worrying about.

"Don’t worry about anything; instead, pray about everything. Tell God what you need, and thank him for all he has done." (Philippians 4:6 NLV)

With that being said, I really feel like I am supposed to be sacrificing sleep to pray (which I have already done and will do some more in a few) and reflecting on this. I have got to do better, but I guess I really need to start leaning on God and listening to Him in my moments of weakness. I was definitely listening to myself today.

I do thank God, however, for a Christian brother who chose to speak up and hold me accountable. I can not deny God's presence in my life. Even when I mess up, he surrounds me with people who are upfront with me and encourage me all in the same breath. I am glad he has given me the maturity to recognize this.

All in all, I am very disappointed in myself, but I refuse to NOT learn from the situation. I am brushing myself off and hoping that I'll pass this test with an A the next time. Now I'm off to go spend more time in meditation. Have to die to myself daily....

~What's in your heart~

~For the mouth speaks what the heart is full of~


Do those words stop you in your tracks like they do for me? I mean really read that and meditate on those words. Then, think about all the words that fall out....or even get PUSHED out of your mouth everyday? What does you heart look like now?

Well, when I take a self-examination (because today this is about me), the words out of my mouth definitely depend on my temperament. My father has told me that I am a very temperamental person...and I can agree with that. Thinking on my words, I am feeling like I might need to work on my moods. lol

Sometimes I have nothing but good things to say, and sometimes I have a lot to say that is just plain ugly. At these times, my heart is not filled with anything but my flesh. All I can hear in my head right now is "what IS your heart filled with? WHO should your heart be filled with?" When I feel myself getting upset sometimes, I reflect (after the fact) on scriptures that say that we as Christians should be slow to anger.

"Remember this, my dear friends! Everyone must be quick to listen, but slow to speak and slow to become angry. Human anger does not achieve God's righteous purpose." (James 1:19-20)

"People with understanding control their anger, a hot temper shows great foolishness." (Proverbs 14:29 NLV)

When I really think about it, I say the worst things when I allow my temper and emotions to completely rule me. So if I am supposed to be controlling my anger, but I choose to loose control...then I say things that shouldn't be said....I guess I need to examine my heart. Who am I allowing to lead me? Me? Because if that's true, that's the wrong answer. My heart should be filled with Jesus. That's the only person I want my heart to be filled with. When I speak, it should be guided by the Holy Spirit. That shouldn't change according to my temperament. In this life, we have to die to ourselves (flesh) daily. That means we have to examine who is really Lord over our life EVERY day. If God is truly Lord over my life, my heart should be filled with Him....and out of my mouth, I should speak life. My heart should be full of His light. My confrontations should still be in love whether I'm upset or not.

Now this is not to say that I'm going to stop speaking my mind. I'm going to continue to keep it real, but there is definitely a difference between real and "the ugly." I'm guilty of both. Today, I'm not perfect, but today I stand convicted. The Father disciplines those who He loves, and I'm thankful for it. :-)

"For the LORD corrects those he loves, just as a father corrects a child in whom he delights." (Proverbs 3:12 NLV)


"A good person produces good things from the treasury of a good heart, and an evil person produces evil things from the treasury of an evil heart. What you say flows from what is in your heart." (Luke 6:45 NLV)

"....For the mouth speaks what the heart is full of" (Luke 6:45 GNT)

Food for thought!

Christian Athiest

So I finished Christian Atheist. It was the first time I read an inspirational book (I prefer fiction), and it was a good read. I can't say the whole book was for me, but I do think there were some chapters that will really help me especially in the "deebo punch" area of my life.



Craig Goeschel really hits on the fact that is not enough to just believe in Jesus. We really need to live this life. Everyday we need to strive to live right and do what Christ would have us to do. I feel like some of the chapters in the Christian Atheist challenged me to look at who I am, and why I do the things I do. I know there are areas that I can definitely do better, and I really think that was Craig Groeschel's intention.



I recommend it!

Deebo Punch = Respect

So I had a certain few situations that made me think back to conflict resolution as a kid. In elementary school, if you had a problem with someone that couldn't be settled with words, a quick fighting match usually solved the problem. Sounds harsh, but it's true. Fast forward to middle school....fighting wasn't really as funny anymore. In fact, 6th grade was the first time I knew of someone getting their face slashed by a razor. It was also the time where I really started seeing people get knocked SMOOTH out. Fighting just wasn't the same anymore. On to high school.....most people needed more of a reason to fight besides "yo mama this" or "yo mama that" but for the most part, fighting seemed kind of lame. Naw, I guess I really couldn't call it lame yet. It was still entertaining to watch. It's just no one really wanted to be involved IN the fight. You were going to end up getting your face banged up, and who wanted to walk around like that?  Then, you become grown and see chicken heads fighting, and you're like why?? What are you doing with your life? Who fights anymore?

Now that I've been in my adult life for a while, I do have times where I think fighting might be the number one answer in some situations. Crazy, right? I know. I found sometimes that with the people I work with, there is a certain amount a respect most people have for each other. But then you always have that one person that just doesn't really care. No amount of talking or paperwork will make this person talk to you better. It's that one person that you want to punch in the mouth....HARD. The thing is now that I'm grown, and I have responsibilites..REAL responsibilities, I don't have the time to deal with the consequences of a physical altercation. Now busting someone in the head will no doubt affect your finances and your career. The knuckleheads that talk to you stupid know all of these things, and it's my belief that it is the reason they do the things that they do. They say slick crap to you because they know there is only so far the situation can go. Most times , I think consequences are really the determining factor in situations. A lot of people get away with so much because of it.

I wonder what it really takes for poeple to respect each other. Is about the way you were raised? Is it the morals that you carry? What is it really? Although I can be a very confrontational person especially when I feel I am being disrespected, there have been plenty of situations where I feel helpless. There is only so much that can be settled by talking...or really not talking to people. I just really want to know what the determining factor is to being respectful person. What does it take for an overly disrespectful person to change? Because I'm starting to think a good Deebo punch works sometimes. "That's my bike, punk!" I'm just sayin'. Not going to do it. Just a thought.